Dear Jacob,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I had an epiphany. I think I realized it when I had a sunburn from when I set your house on fire and I saw you snarl at a passing vehicle. I'm sure you're random enough to understand that our divorce is final and how much I hate you. I'm returning your organs and your spatula to you, but I'll keep my attitude problem as a memory. You should also know that Russia burned you comic collection.

You scare me.

~Lindsey













1. What's the colour of your hair?
Brown - I'm dying
Red - Your cat's on my lawn
White - I saw Santa
Black - You're new hair-do is scary
blond - I had an epiphany
Grey - I'm cranky
Other - I'm going crazy

2. Which is your birth month?
January - 2 seconds ago
February - When you did CPR on my grandma
March - As you're watching me write this letter
April - When I cried
May - When I laughed
June - When you shot boogers out of your nose
July - When you got a sun burn
August - When you kicked me
September - When I was bored
October - When we were scarred
November - When we watched cartoons
December - When I flirted with a Christmas tree

3. Which food do you prefer?
Ice cream - While I picked my nose
Pancakes - While I played poker with your sister
Pasta - as I cross dressed
Hamburgers - as I coughed on your dog
Hot wings - under your bed
Hot dogs - as I whistled
Poutine - In Canada
Fish - In the pool
pop rocks - While I set the house on fire
Other- with your mom

4. What's the colour of your computer/ laptop/ whatever?
Yellow - Cheat on
Red - punch
Black - snarl at
Blue - cry for
Purple - kick
White - draw
Grey - hate
Brown - laugh at
Orange - loving
Pink - swoon over
clear - run naked toward
Other - scream at

5. What's the colour of your pants?
Black - My boyfriend
White - your dad
Grey - Matthew Williams
Brown - Ivan Braginsky
Purple - Francis Bonnefoy
Red - the bus driver
Blue - A passing vehicle
Yellow - Arthur Kirkland
Orange - Wang Yao
Pink - A little girl
None - My boss
Other - A horny stallion

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV/ youtube?
Hetalia - gifted
Inuyasha - broken hearted
Corner gas - smelly
Just for laughs - excited
Family guy - boring
Pokemon - scared
Digimon - horrified
Yugioh - drunk
Simpsons - untalented
Disney movies - carefree
Other- random

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How much I hate you
Sad - Why you lost at strip poker
Bored - that our divorce is final
Angry - that you stepped on a rake
Depressed - why you have two heads
Excited - why I don't understand you
Nervous -How much money you lost last night
Worried - you bullied me in elementary school
secure - I finally shaved my pits
Ashamed - I saw your grandparents go to the strip club
Cuddly - I'm in love with your dad
Overjoyous - I lost my Mickey mouse pen
Other - I painted my curtains

8. What's the colour of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your organs
Yellow - your glow sticks
Red - the schools cafeteria food
Black - the love seat
Blue - Your spatula
Green - your boyfriend
Orange - your girlfriend
Brown - your keyboard
Grey - Nothing
Purple - Your leg hair
Pink - your my little pony collection
Other - sesame street

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your nose
C/D - my job
E/F - ceiling Russia
G/H - your paycheck
I/J - the lotto ticket
K/L - my attitude problem
M/N - your Christmas presents
O/P - My hate for you
Q/R - the principle
S/T - this dead rat I found
U/V - myself sober
W/X - some game cards
Y/Z - your dentures

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Russia
C/D - Canada
E/F - France
G/H - America
I/J - Italy
K/L - Germany
M/N - Japan
O/P - China
Q/R - England
S/T - Sealand
U/V - Lithuania
W/X - Hungary
Y/Z - Belarus

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- hates you
Beer - flirted with your goldfish
Soft drink - died during your birthday
pop - got food poisoning
Milk - stole your DS
Wine - is in love with me
Juice - ran into your door just now
Hot chocolate - burned your comic collection
Other - is still alive

12. Which is your favourite Hetalia character?
Austria - That is all
Taiwan - I know what you did
England - Good luck finding water in the desert
Spain - See you at the nude beach
China - Get a life
Germany - I love you
Latvia - I have lice now
Greece - Write back soon
Russia - Now please leave me alone
Sealand - Send chocolate
France - I never liked you
Other - you scare me

Step 2: Just do what it says darn it! D:<
Step 3: Fill the blanks based on your answers.

Dear:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

Step 5: Post this, the rules AND the result on your Journal user page.
Step 6: Tag 5 deviants.
Step 7: Inform them to do your bidding the same.